Lock him down: 7 ways to stop your man from ever straying

by Glenda Robert

You won’t be able to move forward in your relationship unless you free yourself from that moment. Let it go.

When a woman finds out her lover is cheating, it’s devastating. It can leave you in a deep depression and could possibly lead to substance abuse. It’s hard to accept because the new finding is so abrupt and comes so suddenly. You begin to call the other woman a slut, trash and even blame her for the infidelity.
When my husband began his cheating ways, I blamed it on everything but me. I remember when I found out who the ‘slut’ was. I was hurt and devastated mostly by how she look. I felt she didn’t look better than me, she wasn’t educated like me and most of all she was ugly… at least to me. I thought over and over “Why she?’, ‘Why did he cheated on me with her?’.
I vowed to get back and my journey began. I found myself returning to the old things I use to do. I went to the nail shop, I went to the hair dresser and I changed my wardrobe. I then realized that maybe because I neglected these things before, my lover looked at another woman who didn’t neglect her appearance. The other woman was actually nice looking and I felt like she was the totally opposite of me. I guess I assumed he’d understand that I didn’t get my hair fixed because I was at home cooking and cleaning for HIM all day. But, though I did all these things, my man was still messing around. I would be at home dressed up, calling him on the phone, cursing him out about not being home.
One day his phone ranged and I answered it. The person said nothing as I continued to say hello. Then the phone hung up. I called the number back and the saga began. She told me basically everything I wanted to know and some that I didn’t want to hear. As she pierced my heart with all the times my man was with her and all the things he bought her, my mind began to travel back. I thought back to the times when I thought I heard him talking on the phone in the other room. I later found out he would be on the phone for hours with her and sometimes I was with him. Everything quickly began to add up and answers filled the suspicions.
When we would argue I begun to listen to what he said instead of defend myself against everything he said. When he said I fussed to much, he was tired of me nagging, I stopped fussing and nagging him. I stopped calling the other woman and cursing her out all day. I began calling him asking him what he wanted for dinner. I stopped letting the other woman take control of my entire day.
The biggest part was forgiving him for cheating and letting it go. You will always think about the times he cheated and you will always feel like you never deserved it. You can allow your mind and all your energy to constantly return to that devastating time over and over until you find yourself stuck right there. You won’t be able to move forward in your relationship unless you free yourself from that moment. Let it go.
I realized I had to joggle my many roles in life. I’m a mother, sister, lover, daughter and aunt. I put all these roles in their proper place. When I deal with my man, I’m his lover and friend, I don’t need to be in the mother mode. I bought some sexy underwear, sweet smelling perfume, and I got a manicure. I started wearing sexy appealing clothes that kept my man watching me. I made breakfast every morning and I fixed dishes that had him licking the plate. It wasn’t long before my man was home every night and the other woman was a thing of the past.
Top 7 ways to stop your man from cheating:
1. Stop nagging and fussing about everything. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. If you want your husband to fix something around the house, ask him in a nice way while you are scratching his head.
2. Fix him breakfast and dinner. Cook his favorite meals and create new dishes with his favorite foods.
3. Leave the past in the past. Don’t constantly bring his mistakes, his past mistakes and old flings in the present. Leave the old stuff in the past, let it go.
4. Keep yourself up. Brush your teeth, keep your breath smelling fresh, bathe in perfumes or good smelling soap. Comb your hair and keep it looking good daily. Keep your nails and toes manicured. eyebrows arched, lips and face crust free. If he loves you it doesn’t matter if your booty is flat, he still want you to wear those hip huggers jeans. He knows exactly how you are shaped and he wants you anyway. So get your sexy on ok. He’s waiting.
5. Listen To Your Man. You may think that what he has to say is silly but this is the part you really need to listen to. Men don’t explain themselves to often so it’s very important to listen he speaks. From that great speech you learn your man and what he wants. Remember that a man is the king of his castle and he wants to be treated that way.
6. Respect Your Man. Many times and most of the times we are usually right. At times in a relationship being right or wrong is second to respect. You should respect your man at all times and sometimes that mean shutting up and not telling him what you really want to.
7. Be nice and respectful to his mother. Mother-in-laws can be a handful but don’t forget she’s still his mother. The Bible says to honor your mother and father. No matter what he says his mother did to him and what she didn’t do for him is not your issues. He’s telling your his issues because you are his friend and he should be able to tell you everything. He’s not telling you this to take up a fight with his mother. He will always love her regardless and he’ll never forget anything bad you said about her.

I survived #OccupyNigeria because my mandate is popular – GEJ

by Hauwa Gambo
President Goodluck Jonathan yesterday declared that he survived January’s fuel subsidy removal protests because his mandate from the Nigerian people is popular.
The President was speaking in Freetown, Sierra Leone at a meeting with the chairman of the country’s National Electoral Commission (NEC), Christina Thorpe, as well as politicians and candidates for their November 17 elections.
The president made the remarks to emphasise the need for free and fair elections and their potential to allow leaders make necessary, but unpopular decisions.
“In Nigeria, I remember the fuel subsidy crisis all over the country, I could have been removed but I was confident of my mandate,” he said. “When some people started talking of regime change, majority of the people who voted for me insisted that they elected me and what they are asking for is change of policy, not regime change; and that calmed down the situation.
“Credible elections give you the mandate of the people and confidence too. It is difficult to calm people down when elections are manipulated”, he said.
He told his audience that he has credibility on the subject of fair polls. “If we had manipulated elections in Nigeria, I would not have had the courage to come and confront you,” he said. “If I had manipulated myself into office, there is no way I would come and sell to you what I do not have”.
The president was also formally given the highest honour of Grand Commander of the Republic of Sierra Leone (GCRSL) awarded to him during Sierra Leone’s 51st Independence Anniversary in April

You’re unruly – Obasanjo tells PDP

by Rachel Ogbu


Former President Olusegun Obasanjo has admitted that the Peoples Democratic Party’s (PDP) indiscipline was costing the party a great deal. “…there cannot be any meaningful progress and development without culture of discipline,” he said.
At the South-West caucus meeting of the party in Ibadan yesterday, a rather disappointed ex-president said until this unruly behaviour is dealt with in the PDP, meaningful progress and development would be elusive.
Obasanjo, who came at the tail end of the meeting, apologized that he had to travel by air for 20 hours from Tokyo through Dubai before arriving Nigeria.
Describing the meeting as very dear to him, he said the party must ensure that they come together and work in unity ahead of 2015 in order to reclaim the states of the zone from the Action Congress of Nigeria (ACN).
On the just-concluded governorship election in Ondo State, the ex-president said, ”Whatever may be the shortcomings of the election should be overlooked since such may not necessarily upturn the table. We should accept defeat and start looking forward”.
The meeting which was also attended by the National Secretary of the Peoples Democratic Party, Prince Olagunsoye Oyinlola and other chieftains of the party discussed extensively on how the party would reclaim the South west in 2015.
At the caucus meeting of the party which was the first of its kind since the party lost all the states in the zone to the ACN, all the aggrieved chieftains of the party from Ogun, Oyo, Osun, Ekiti, Lagos and Ondo States came under one umbrella and agreed to work together

Sheer Fabulousity: Photos, Photos (& More Photos) from The Headies Yellow Carpet

Omawumi.

What: The Headies 2012.
Where: Expo Centre, Eko Hotel and Suites, Lagos.
When: October 20, 2012.
Photos by Hycinth Iyereosa

Toke Makinwa.

Gabriella.

Kefee.

Gbemi Olateru-Olagbegi.

Cartiar.

Ego of Wazobia.

Ajifa.

Layole.

Obiwon.

Cobhams Asuquo.

Shadeebaba.

Tunde & Wunmi Obe.

Tolu 'Toolz

Frank Edoho.

Showkey.

Dayo

Bovi.

Bez.

Efe Tommy.

Oge.

Labi.

Olakunbi Oyelese.

Adaorah Oleh.

Moet Abebe.

Timi Dakolo and wife.

Yaw.

Jennifer Joe.

Karen Igho.

Wizkid in the building.

Waje.

Davido on the mic.

Annie Macaulay Idibia.

Two Sanusis for the price of one: Ex and present CBN governors say no to reducing apex bank’s powers

by Rachel Ogbu

Picture: ThisDay Live

Former governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN), Joseph Sanusi has backed Sanusi Lamido Sanusi, the present governor as he fights plans by the House of Representatives to reduce the independence of the apex bank and weaken the powers of its leadership.
At a recent public hearing organised by the House Joint Committee on Justice, Banking and Currency, the ex CBN governor asked the representatives to think carefully about their new plans to weaken the national bank as it was more profitable to have a strong independent central bank.
He said amendments were only the fallout of a communication gap between the parliament and the apex bank arguing that if the law was amended to make the governor an ordinary executive member in the board, it will automatically reduce the confidence and esteem a CBN governor will have among its peers from other countries.
The caution came at a public hearing on a bill seeking to amend the CBN Act of 2007.
The bill seeks to allow the appointment of a person, other than the governor of the CBN as Chairman of the bank’s board, as well as exclude the deputy governors of the bank from being members of the board. The bill also seeks to divest the board of the power to consider and approve the annual budget of the CBN.
While the Senate’s bill was published in the National Assembly Journal Volume 8, number 54 of April 13, 2012, and registered as Senate Bill 75, the House of Reps’ bill seeks to amend Section 6(2) of the CBN Act (2007) to remove the CBN governor as chairman of the board and exclude the deputy governors and directors as members of the board. It was published in the same journal four days after – Volume 8, number 62, dated April 17, 2012, and dubbed HB.12.03.276.
Both bills seek to divest the board of the CBN of its powers to appropriate and approve the annual budgetary estimates of the bank, contrary to Section 6 (3) (a) of the CBN Act 2007 which stipulates that the board shall be responsible for the consideration and approval of the annual budget of the bank.
Lamido, who was represented by the deputy governor (Operations), Tunde Lemo, warned that removing the administrative and financial autonomy of the bank would prevent it from discharging its mandate effectively. The current CBN governor, who led the presentations said that subjecting the bank’s budget to scrutiny by the National Assembly would be used to score political points.
He explained that the independence of the bank is a concept that has gained global acceptance and any attempt to erase the concept in Nigeria will be like swimming against the tide of global standards in banking regulation.
In a presentation to buttress the arguments for an independent bank, another ex CBN governor, Adamu Ciroma, said the proposed amendments to the CBN Act would create a complex problem and portray Nigeria as a non-conformist to international best practices.
“In deep conscience and honesty, I cannot find the rationale behind this plan. I urge you to leave this matter so that you don’t do anything outrageous and nonconforming,” Ciroma said.

Life is not hard: 10 tips for coping without ‘okada’

by michealfreesoul
These tips are guaranteed to elevate you to the next level of an ‘okada’-free Lagos state. If they aren’t, your case is too hard abeg. Ok let’s go…
10. Buy shoe protectors. Replace as the need arises.
9. In relation to number 10, carry an extra pair of foot wear. (preferably slippers) in your bag (men inclusive). That bag should also carry the following: a small umbrella, water bottle and small chops to go.
8. Wear casual clothes to work. Change into your official clothes at work. Change back to the casual clothes for the journey back home. You don’t want. to look too official while trekking.
7. For the ladies, this is the time to smile from ear to ear with that ugly male colleague who drives a car and lives near your residence.
6. For the guys, buy a car before them tif your babe.
5. Save the money for your gym membership. You are getting enough exercise already.
4. Start trekking groups in your class,church,mosque,office etc. After all it is said that a trek trekked with companion is no trek at all (I just made that up obviously)
3. Learn how to entertain yourself in your own space. Stock up on game consoles, books, magazines, movies etc. Pay that DSTV
subscription too.
2. As the crime rate increases due to the okada ban, buy a gun.
1. If none of the above works, pack go your village and fulfil Fashola’s innate dream for Lagos state.
Abeg later. Let me prepare for this evening’s trek.
Eko o ni baje.
*Follow the author on fotoidols.wordpress.com!

Opinion: Governor Fashola and his futile anti-’okada’ laws

by Demola Rewaju

It is however in the area of motorcycle transportation that Fashola strongly shows not only his elitist mentality but also a peculiar lack of understanding of how Lagos was built on the foundations of free enterprise.

Many actions of His Excellency the Governor of Lagos State have made me conclude before now that he is an elitist with very strong bias against the poor. His famed exploits in road construction in elite areas versus ‘poor’ areas is hugely slanted, his acquisition of markets and subsequent upgrade to highbrow shopping malls for the rich, his public-private partnership, his school fees hike in tertiary institutions and lack of any major pro-masses policy or agenda reinforce this notion in my mind.
It is however in the area of motorcycle transportation that Fashola strongly shows not only his elitist mentality but also a peculiar lack of understanding of how Lagos was built on the foundations of free enterprise.
I know fully well that Gov. Fashola has an abundance of admirers and I think that is where the problem starts from. There is rarely any opposition to his ideas and as every democrat knows, when one man feels that his and his advisers’ opinion is the smartest and brightest, it is difficult to entrench democratic values which thrive on robust debate.
The ‘okada’ business in Lagos provides employment in some way or the other to over a million people. Since there are no statistics, this figure is purely conjectural but when you break down the numbers by the 20 LGs and 37 LCDAs in Lagos, that’s about 17,543 motorcycles per locality and I know the figures are much higher if you consider high density areas like Iyana-Ipaja, Alimosho, Shomolu, Surulere and so on. By the time you think of the many house mai-guards, corporate security staff, teachers and civil servants who run their ‘okada’ business after official hours, a million may even sound too small but let’s work with that number for the sake of argument.
Motorcycle manufacturing companies from Asia have several ‘okada’ assembly plants in Lagos in response to this upsurge about a decade ago. Haojue, Bajaj, Boxer, Xinghoang and Jincheng are the more popular ones with plants from Apapa to Ilupeju. They even have an association called Motorcycle Manufacturers Association of Nigeria (MOMAN). Those who sell ‘okada’ parts or repair the ‘okada’ also have their own businesses. Then you have the allied companies like Chongping that produce special motorcycle oil. I’m sure these companies contribute handsomely to the over NGN20bn the state government makes per month as IGR.
As for the ‘okada’ riders themselves, many of them suffer harassment from policemen under the guise of enforcing the Fashola laws, LG/LCDA enforcers, ACOMORAN and MOALS union levy enforcers and even traditional rulers in some areas like Ikotun, Isolo, Ijegun, Badagry and so on. Policemen collect NGN50-100 anytime they catch any ‘okada’ in some areas, LG/LCDA collect their dues daily which is between NGN100-200 per ‘okada’, traditional rulers tax the ‘okada’ men through their enforcers on Tuesday and Friday in most areas, Chairmen collect theirs on Friday or Sunday while the union dues are monthly but some choose to pay weekly.
‘Okada’ transportation is lucrative for most middle-class and low-class families because there is huge demand for it in a city like Lagos where everyone is in a rush to get to one place from the other. Admittedly, those who have had terrible accidents in ‘okada’ accidents or visited Igbobi Hospital may never ride on one again and I know many motorists do not like struggling for right of way with them.
In such situation, the wise approach to the ‘okada’ conundrum will be to lay down regulations that are pragmatic for the saving of lives of Lagos residents yet encouraging to aspiring business entrepreneurs. Many barbers, vulcanisers, generator repairers, supermarket owners and other small business people use earnings from ‘okada’ riding to augment whatever they make from their business.
From the day the foreigners set foot in Badagry and bought the first slave, Lagos has thrived on free enterprise and that is what makes Lagos work, not the ideas of any man. Lagos works because the people work. Every governor in Lagos state from Mobolaji Johnson to Jakande to Marwa and even Sir Michael Otedola has enjoyed relative success because Lagos has the highest number of literate and semi-literate people in the country which translates to valuable human resources.
In spite of the popularity of Okada transportation, there is no proper institute to train Okada riders or even provide them with periodic certification which is another means of revenue for the government, yet, to procure rider’s card and other permits to ride Okada in Lagos costs between NGN7,000 to 13,000 compared to NGN4,000 in Ogun state where many ‘okada’ riders prefer to register their bikes before bringing it to Lagos.
With the draconian laws imposed on ‘okada’ riders under Gov Fashola, many of these riders are turning or returning to a life of crime because they just must survive which they were barely doing even without the repressive laws. The cost of a brand new ‘okada’ is about NGN100,000 to NGN180,000. What these boys do is to get anyone who can afford it to buy one for them while they repay him or her with weekly or daily depending on agreement.
The Taskforce Chairman, Bayo Sulaiman, an Assistant Superintent of Police, earlier this week on behalf of the government gleefully commenced the destruction of this thriving business and had this to say:

“These are ‘okadas’ impounded since the new traffic law was signed into law. There are 3, 000 of them. ‘Okada’ riders must obey our traffic law…We are dismantling the ‘okadas’ now to separate the parts that are crushable from the ones that are not crushable. After this, we will take the crushable parts to Oshodi crushing plant, where they will be crushed…”

In Akwa-Ibom, a state that cannot compare with Lagos in terms of population and number of ‘okada’ riders when a similar law was passed, the government gave each ‘okada’ rider NGN50,000 before collecting their bikes. In Lagos, the source of livelihood of some entire families was impounded without compensation and will be crushed even though I can swear that some of these enforcers will divert dozens of the seized motorcycles to personal use.
History is surely quite clear: No law made against the majority stands the test of time. The ‘okada’ means of transportation has come to stay with all its dangers. A pro-masses government will look for ways to regulate, enhance and harness it; not stifle it to death as His Excellency Governor Raji Fashola is trying to do.

20 signs you found true love

by Christine Akiteng

You are quite protective (not possessive or controlling) of one another and of the privacy of your romantic lives.

The chemistry between a man and woman can be either good chemistry or bad chemistry. Many of us, through lots of experience know what it feels like to be in a relationship where the chemistry can be very strong, but it is destructive on an individuals level and as a couple. Relationships founded on this chemistry are often riddled with pain, guilt, fear and any number of thoughts and feelings that are energy depleting and can quickly spiral to obsessions and depression.
What about good chemistry, what does it feel and look like, and how do you know the chemistry between the two of you is good? How do you know you are with the right person?
1. You feel very comfortable with one another, as if you have known each other longer than you actually have.
2. You tend to agree with one another on most issues, and there is a feeling of warm familiarity surrounding your personal belief systems, values, philosophies and life goals.
3. You instinctively consider each other as equals and no one person does more sacrificing to be with the other.
4. You are very much involved in one another’s daily affairs and conversations between the two of you are generally mentally stimulating and lively.
5. You joke around with each other a lot, and your relationship is spontaneous and light, adding a happy and friendly boost to your interactions.
6. You nurture each other with specialized attention, mutual appreciation, acceptance, admiration and playfulness; these keep the romance alive.
7. You enjoy spending plenty of quite time together in homely surroundings giving true meaning to the words feeling “at home” with one another.
8. Open communication is alive and thriving, making it possible to be yourselves with one another.
9. There is a shared feeling of growth and support of one another and both of you give each other room to grow as a self-directed independent individual.
10. You are more able than most couples to remain objective about your relationship and to work through problems that most couples find very difficult to deal with.
11. You are warm, gracious, compassionate and flexible with one another, and tend to expect the best from one another.
12. You easily forgive each other when things go wrong and trusting one another keeps you closer.
13. You are quite protective (not possessive or controlling) of one another and of the privacy of your romantic lives. Others see you as a positively bonded and caring couple.
14. There is no fear of losing the other and commitment to each other and dedication to your relationship are important for your sense of security as a couple.
15. There is an earthy sensuality to your relationship and the sexual chemistry between you is so apparent it’s almost tangible.
16. Expressing yourselves emotionally and sexually comes naturally and without inhibitions. Feeling secure with one another puts you in the “mood” for intimacy and strengthens your affections for one another.
17. Together you are able to take big risks knowing that you will always have reach other and can always count on each other.
18. There is a whole lot of positive energy generated between the two of you, and together, you are enthusiastic about life itself.
19. The longer you’re with each other, the stronger your relationship becomes.
20. The relationship is so life-changing that you know without a doubt in your heart that if it were to end, you will take something from it. You feel that you are somehow a different and better person.
Hopefully this information will put your heart and mind to rest. But if it causes you to feel “uneasy” then you need to really look at who you are with. You can be honest with yourself and face the pain that comes with the realization that you may not be with the right person for you, or you can ignore it now and later regret why knowing what you know you still pursued a relationship that was not good for you. The beauty of all this is that you have the power over what you choose to do!
————————-
Christine Akiteng is a renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of e-Books: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness, Breaking A Bad Relationships Pattern, and Playing Hard-To-Get The Love Way