Women never want to hear this, but rape can also be provoked… indeed rape can be provoked, and provocation usually calls for response. Who says crime cannot be provoked?
I will attempt to express the opinion I shared in the previous piece on rape, this time in another manner for better understanding.
Men get raped too, but rape on women was the focus on the previous piece and it is still the focus here.
Women give men too much credit. And men take advantage of that. Time and again, men have not lived up to what women expect of them. So why do women still hope and trust.
Certain truths are self evident. Any man that rapes has no self control, and cannot borrow it from anywhere. If men have self control like they all claim, why does rape still occur. The fault lies largely on men and not on women.
Most people fixate only on rape when it relates to children. No one can imagine why a man can’t stop himself from raping a child. In that respect, there is some truth. Most men won’t rape a child. But it has happened. And any man who has ever had that thought is not fit to live. But there are other victims of rape who are not children, most of which go unreported and unnoticed. For instance, rape on wives, and girl friends.
Women never want to hear this, but rape can also be provoked. True, not all cases give credence to that, and many victims did not provoke in any way, but indeed rape can be provoked, and provocation usually calls for response. Who says crime cannot be provoked? Who says someone’s flaunting of wealth can’t provoke a robber and in fact encourage someone to steal. You flaunt your wealth in Nigeria, and you get kidnapped and the ransom measured according to your wealth. Is that saying one shouldn’t aspire to be rich? No. Is that saying kidnappers and armed robbers should be justified? No. It is not also saying that women should not be free to go wherever they like and walk naked if they like. Rape is mostly about opportunity. Women should reduce the opportunities. Women should remove the advantage men wield. If the crime must happen let it not be the fault of the woman. It would be wise for women not to go to certain places, or certain ‘male rooms’ alone trusting that men would exercise self control. So many young women have embarked on journeys to visit and spend time alone with male acquaintances? So many girls have left school to spend weekends at a male friends place, believing that the man would exercise control. Such blind trust and confidence is responsible for a good number of rape cases.
The fact that rape still occurs despite it not being provoked in any way supports the claim that men are irresponsibly lacking in self control.
Are we excusing the men? No. Are we saying they should go ahead and rape innocent women because they don’t have control? No. But when dealing with men, their repeated failure to exercise self control especially over sex should be considered. That men do not have this self control is their malady and a disgrace, and it is this lack of self control that should be severely punished. But punishment only comes after the crime. Prevention is always best.
Keep your children close. Keep your daughters from the next door male neighbour, supervise their relations with male members of the extended family, watch what they wear. And stop believing when men tell you they have complete control of their libido, from your experiences, you know this not to be true. Abandon hope in men, save yourselves.
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